UN-reality

2010-12-29T01:32:00.002+08:00

it has been almost one year since i've last blogged. why i returned? shit happened. i dont know why i'm being unreasonable all of a sudden but at that moment, all i thought was, "it's all your fault that all this happened.." i really hate this word but JEALOUSY seriously screws a person's judgement. i thought i'm way past over this juvenile feeling but apparently, i'm still prone to it sometimes.

because of this, i think feelings changed. suddenly, i miss my baby a lot. i wish i can start today all over again. so that i can put right the wrong.. or maybe.. i should just make things right tomorrow and hope that things will be better. worse come to worse, i lose 2 friends. one of whom is my best female friend i've ever had.

in conclusion... i blogged after a hiatus of one year because I'M FEELING EMO TONIGHT!!!!! T.T

2010-01-28T12:39:00.002+08:00

XD how long has it been since i've last blogged?? VERY long. =x oops~ a little update here~

in the month of Jan, i've been really busy. with essays, presentation.. mainly school stuff. and now, it's EXAM! wouldnt be as busy as before but after 2 more weeks, i'll be totally FREE!!! =D so yup. that's all for school.

recently, it has been steamboat week. had steamboat with elaine and gang on tue night. and tomorrow night is going to be steamboat night again with ivy and gang. woo hoo! hahahah somehow i kinda like school cause i can make new friends. =D i just dont like assignments.. so ya.. ahaha

oh, it's kbox this sat with debbie and her friends. i know it'll be a little o.o cause i dont know her friends but still.. it's KBOX!!! who wouldnt go?!!?!?! =p plus, it's been very long since i've seen debbie so just treating it as a gathering of "old" friends ba. =)

i'm going to meet up with darling cindy and hubby van tonight to discuss about our trip! XD so high~ hopefully after we planned, daddy would say yes to me going.. =x

zh's been pestering me to go to his workplace. think he's feeling lonely there. LOL oh well. we'll see how ba~ =p speaking of zh, we've been heading to iluma to catch soft toys! =D so freaking shiok! woo hoo~

on the relationship front.. it's funny how i've been searching for love but all along it's been right in front of me. 8 years of friendship.. truth to be told, i'm still kind of amazed that it has developed into love. lol but i guess it's a good thing. cause after all i've been through, i've learnt how to appreciate him more, and to treasure what i have. =) though the reactions of our friends were kinda funny when they found out about us.. LOL

so all in all, 2010 has been a good year SO FAR~ hopefully it'll get better! XD ciao~

2010-01-05T15:57:00.001+08:00

=3 i'm feeling happy. and i dont know the reason why~~ =p

i'm supposed to start on my essay today.. but i'm tired. so..... think i'll take a little nap and start later~~! XD

2010-01-02T00:30:00.001+08:00

XD this is like so overdue~

Quizzes Girls Games

2009-12-29T02:32:00.002+08:00

TO ALL LADIES

PLEASE DO VISIT Darkwings Closet TO SUPPORT MY HUBBY!!! XD SPREAD THE WORD THANK YOU VERY MUCH!♥♥♥♥♥♥

2009-12-24T17:55:00.002+08:00

today's been a really busy day for me and van! met up at like 9 30am in the morning for breakfast then grocery shopped for our food for tonight's steamboat.. LOL me and van suck at grocery shopping. we practically dont know ANYTHING. =x we mixed up the vegtables ie. cant tell the difference between bak choy and cabbage. =.= HAHA then we would find the stuff we want and other people had to tell us where to go. really feel like mountain turtles. the only things that we can find without ANY help are drinks. LOL

started preparing the soup base once we got home. according to my dad, i'm supposed to boil HALF a pot of water. but me and van were so happy with pouring water into the huge pot, we filled it up to around 3/4. HAH and yes, my dad came home to "inspect" and "scolded" me... =p

oh yeah.. and did i mention about the fact that we bought the wrong meat for steamboat?? HAHAHAHA my dad had to drive me out to buy meat... =x but now everything's mostly done and i'm just waiting for my "guests" to come over~ XD feeling so proud of me and van to pull this steamboat gathering off!!!! mehhh~ maybe we'll do it again and confirm will be better next time. XD

now i'm off to fetch my 1st guest to my house~~~~ CIAO~

2009-12-23T09:52:00.002+08:00

i was asking myself.. should i blog?? then now i'm here. talking rubbish again.. HAHAHA

got tipsy last night from drinking beer at Timbre with Rene~ XD i super love the feeling of being drunk. woo hooo! ever since ZoukOut, i have been drinking and clubbing more often.. =x ok maybe it's just that people are starting to ask me out recently. HAHAHA 2 months ago, who would bother to call me go drinking or clubbing????

anyway, from my FB status, it seems that i LOVE drinking and clubbing ALOT. cause most of the updates are about me being at somewhere else clubbing or drinking etc etc. well, let's face it.. i dont believe anyone who've seen my FB status wouldnt think that i'm that kind of girl who drinks too much and parties too hard. and seriously, do i care? i really dont know. i mean as long as my own group of friends are ok with who i am, i dont really have much reason to care do i?

but as mr. ong said, maybe others will see me more clearly for who i am if i club less, drink less and smoke less.. i might just do that but will it really help? after all, i'm not a really sociable person anymore. hahaha had my fill of hurts and betrayal. oh well...

so what is the purpose of this blog post? i really have no idea.. LOL! so let's talk about something happier~

in a couple of hours later, KTV SESSION WITH BEN AND VAN =D then it's meet-up with Ee Hua, Huiling and Manu tonight for gift exchange!! hopefully Rene would join us?? =) STEAMBOAT tomorrow night!!!! yea-ness. =D and Fatal Frame!!!!!!! wootx!!!!! After that is CHRISTMAS!!!! finally will get to meet up with cousins yeah! Saturday would most probably be working.. then at night it's PHUTURE for Laura's birthday celebration~ Sunday is Japanese lesson and nothing! LOL next week is the start of my busy week again with school assignments to complete. but all in all, HOLIDAY'S GREAT!!!!! XD

2009-12-18T17:32:00.002+08:00

i'm broke already!! D= been spending a lot and have not saved any money. my money has been spent on stuff like books, clothes, shoes and CLUBBING. shit man..

been partying really hard this month. there's ZoukOut on 12 December.. it was totally great. met people like Rene, Vincent, Saw, etc etc. hahahaha and last night, i went to Butter Factory for a school party. spent loads of money on drinks. so now, i'm officially broke!!!!

a little update on my life.. school's been okay recently. not so busy. i dont want to blog about my ecotourism essay cause it brings back "painful" memories.. T.T passed my club and gaming test. XD *thank god for multiple choice questions!!* not sure about my services marketing test though.. =x oh and not to mention tourist behaviour test.. i think i'm going to either just pass or fail.. =x and after the test, i couldnt move my hand cause i'm too tired from writing TOO MANY WORDS.

on love, nothing really outstanding here. lol remain single suan le~

well... guess there's nothing else i want to update about.. ciao~~

2009-12-09T22:08:00.003+08:00

i've got to study.. but... i'm procrastinating again.. hahaha you know what's the problem with being 20? there's no problem at all~~~~ ahahahahah so now my life is kind of boring...

today, i talked to my eye candy.. XD made me so happy. cause..... HE'S REMEMBERS ME!!!!! woo hoo~~~~ =p a lot of my friends keep saying that the reason why i go to school is to see cute guys.. and let me tell it straight now.. IT'S TRUE!!!!! =p cute guys are the core reason why i'm going to school. hahahah ahh i love JCU. LOL

test tomorrow afternoon.. gotta study for it otherwise i sure as hell wouldnt pass.. then i have to work on my essay which is due next monday. so i cant go for tutoring.. i can see my money flying out the window again. plus, ZOUKOUT this saturday!!!! woo hoooo~~~ which takes away 1 day from my "work on essay" days. =x

am looking forward to next week cause it means lovely lovely rest time. =D oh yeah.. not to mention 17 December!!!! ~~~BUTTER FACTORY~~~ JCU rawks the house down man!!!!! PARTY PARTY!!!! woo hoooooo XD yes, i'm high. =p well. i'm off to shower and then start studying. hopefully will update soon... =3

i will walk out from the past. i promise i wont be put down anymore. i will treat myself better. one day, i hold my head up high and say i'm not missing you.

2009-12-06T23:46:00.002+08:00

this is what i want to say to you.. after all these years....

You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

All this time I was wasting

Hoping you would come around

I've been giving out chances every time

And all you do is let me down

And it's taking me this long

Baby but I figured you out

And you're thinking we'll be fine again

But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby

Like I did before

You're not sorry, no, no, no, no

Looking so innocent

I might believe you if I didn't know

Could've loved you all my life

If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

And you got your share of secrets

And I'm tired of being last to know

And now you're asking me to listen

Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby

Like I did before

You're not sorry, no, no, oh

You had me falling for you honey

And it never would've gone away, no

You used to shine so bright

But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby

Like I did before

You're not sorry, no, no, oh

No, oh, no, oh, no oh

Whoa, no, no

2009-12-06T02:06:00.002+08:00

i sincerely, strongly and utterly believe that my "relative" is coming soon. this is because i've been feeling emotionally unstable these days. plus, i'm starting to yearn for unhealthy activities such as binge drinking and chain smoking.. i really should stop abusing myself but somehow, i want to hurt myself. weird? yes, i'm feeling super emo now..

in case you're reading, it's not you but you can ask me about it. i need someone to talk to but i dont know who i can turn to. cause everyone thought i've moved on. no one knows how vulnerable i am during this holiday season.. every year... for the past 3 years.. i felt it..... a very familiar, sharp pain in my heart.. would the wound ever heal enough for me to accept someone else? i dont know..

everyone (which amounts to no one.. =.=) reading this is going to think, oh no.... qr's in that mood again.. yes i am.. sue me.. sigh.. i want to be cheerful again.. but..... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

fine.. i'm not ready to be in a relationship.. especially now.. i think my heart's kind of dead when it comes to love... i'm really scared of stepping into another relationship. i need to feel my heart beating again before committing.. i want to feel the burning in my cheeks, the tongue-tightening feeling, the butterflies in my stomach.... mostly, i want my heart beat faster... i wonder which guy will make it happen??

我依然还有心痛的感觉.. ごめなさい

2009-12-02T22:26:00.003+08:00

recently i'm walking cherry blossom. LOL *direct translation from mandarin =p*

i have a test tomorrow morning but right now, i'm not studying AT ALL. cause i'm feeling so discouraged and tired. sometimes i feel like a hypocrite. i always tell my students to work hard, study and jia you. but when it comes to myself, i simply give up. not such a good example to them. sigh..

i guess i'm feeling kind of emo now. hahaha oh well.. i gotta buck up and at least finish up my notes.. even if i cant get a good grade, i must still at least scrape a pass. =3

my blog posts are getting shorter cause i always forget what i want to blog about.. =x forgetful me~

guess i'm off to study?? sobs

*EDIT*

what the hell .. i just realised something... cherry blossom is ying hua.. not tao hua... URGH IDIOT!!!!!

2009-11-27T13:47:00.001+08:00

i'm feeling super hungry now! =x

i dont know what to blog about. just came in here to change toilet's blog link. XD

looking forward to christmas~~ =3

2009-11-18T16:41:00.002+08:00

that VANESSA PWA LING LING is very hard to contact!!!!! i messaged and called both her home and handphone BUT I STILL CANT FIND HER. ROAR

anyways, the reason why i'm looking for her is cause of my SON, Benjamin Tan En Hao... cause it's his birthday today!! XD so i was hoping the 3 of us could like meet up for a mini celebration. oh well. i still have time to try and find her..

here's a little "speech" to ben ben~ :

*ahem* test test.. =.=!

Dearest Benjamin, (oh my god... so serious =x)

I've known you since you were in sec 1 in the school library. i still remember how to met how when i met you, the thought of how much you reminded me of my younger brother (he's still well and alive though i made him sound as though he's dead.. =x). haha so yeah.. cause you were so young and CUTE at that time. =p

as i slowly got to know you, i came to know you as a reliable, humorous and valuable "bitching" partner. LOL i really enjoyed those times where we would just talk about anything and everything for hours WITHOUT stopping.. sometimes i wondered how we did that. but it was truly great, having someone to talk to.

yes, we do have our ups and downs with all the drama all through the years we've known each other.. 5 years already!!! i counted. =p you're one of the few friends i have who truly understand and ACCEPT me for who i am. you are one of the few who wouldn't judge me for all the stupid things that i've done and still stand by me no matter what. you are also one of the few who would call and ask after me, who really cares and show your care for me.

i really appreciate you and all the care and concern that you've showered on me. i really feel loved. =) i'm really grateful to whomever up there that allowed you and me to meet and for allowing our friendship to grow to what it is now. i really honored that you call me your mom cause sometimes i really feel that i'm more like a child. hahaha

so i want to thank you. for all the joy and laughter that you've given me. and for lending me your shoulders to cry and lean on. i wish you a very happy birthday and that you will enjoy your special day in every possible way. =3

it doesnt matter that i dont have a boyfriend to love me. it's friends like you that make me realise i still can be happy even without the love i yearn. thank you

Love,

Mom, Qiu Rui =p

2009-10-27T14:11:00.003+08:00

school started le~~~~ was thinking that since i have so many free time, i might as well get a part time job. but guess what... apparently, my so called "free" time are going to be spent on LOADS and LOADS of reading, revising and studying!!! like oh my god la. but it's ok. i'll work hard this one year. gonna try to get an A for at least 1 subject. hahahaha

my school is pretty far away. ok, i'm lying. it's REALLY far. like.... at Upper Thomson Road which is like somewhere in the North. so it'll take me 1 hour plus to just get to school. and get this, most of my lessons are in the EVENING and end like around 7pm. mondays are even worse cause i end at 10pm. so..... anyone who happens to be in the area please do give me a call and we can have dinner together. XD otherwise poor little me will be having dinner alone le. boo!

well, i'm off to bathe now. and will be heading to my dad's workplace for aircon (HAHAHAH) and a quiet place to study(jap test tomorrow evening. =x). sayonara~~

2009-10-11T11:37:00.002+08:00

i have something to blog about!! haha well, last night, i went to NIGHT SAFARI with bc, may and minmin. it's Halloween Night~~~ woots!!!! totally fun. XD

the scare factor's better than last year cause i got scared. =x HAHAHAHA but the creep factor is not as good. as in, the "ghosts" dont look that scary at all. it's just cause they keep coming from random places to scare people that makes them scary. so yeah.

the whole experience is really fun especially when someone in your group (in our case, only bc not scared) is kind of afraid of ghosts....... minmin screamed alot. XD may tried to throw me to one of the ghosts. =x and half the time, we were trying different ways to scare minmin. =s HAHAHAHA very bad of us, i know.

from last night, i realised one thing. minmin is afraid of clowns.. cause there's this clown (as in really a clown) walking outside somewhere around the exit. it's closing time so all the ghosts are outside scaring people. HA then, this clown he started walking really fast towards us. at first he was looking at bc but changed target when bc is not scared of him. so he target me and may. we also stood there and never move. minmin, on the other hand, screamed and RAN. and..... the clown CHASED her! LOL so the 2 of them were running around in circles with me and may in the middle. hahahaha super funny scenario. and the thing is, minmin's leg is hurting cause of a cramp but strangely enough, she doesnt feel ANY pain when she's running away from the clown. LOL

i didnt take much pictures cause no flash allowed.. so i didnt bother. sk took quite alot. oh yeah, he also went with his girlfriend but was not with us. HAHA me and bc were joking that he go there play Fatal Frame cause he was carrying his camera around. =p in case you're wondering what Fatal Frame is, it's a Japanese horror game whereby you have to "capture" ghosts with an ancient camera. super cool game on Playstation 2 (for FF1,2 and 3) and Nintendo Wii (for FF4, but only released in Japan ^%&$^&$^&$ ). go check out the trailers on Youtube to get a feel on what the game's about. =)

well i guess that's all for now. bye~~ i'm off to watch 终极三国! XD 修~~~~

2009-10-08T13:32:00.002+08:00

i've got nothing to do now. meeting van in an hour's time so yeah.. got alot of things to update but i'm too lazy to do that. guess what. i want to change my blogskin.. again. HAHA

2009-09-21T22:36:00.002+08:00

my birthday's over! D= but chalet was REALLY GREAT!!!!! XD

i swear the 3 days 2 night were fun-filled and the availability of good food totally makes it a whooping WONDERFUL event! i'm gonna update a little on the chalet and pictures can be found in facebook when we've decided to upload the pictures. hahaha

19 Sep:

went for last minutes shopping at NTUC in the morning and spent the afternoon preparing food and stuff. we only checked in at like 4 plus or maybe it was 5pm. =x set up everything and we were ready to go at 7pm. BBQ-ed all the way as relatives slowly arrived. presents presents and more presents. XD most people thought it's my 21st birthday. but it's not.. i'm 20~~!! i only chose to celebrate this year cause of the DATE. i didnt get to eat ANY chicken wing cause it was too delicious! boo!

at 12 midnight SHARP, i got DRAGGED up to the 2nd floor by bc, van, ben and sl, thus beginning the start of my birthday "celebration". i bit, kicked, scratched and pinched my way out, gave and gotten bruises. oh and according to bc, the beds were spoiled thanks to our "celebration". LOL

and THAT concludes the climax of the 1st night.

2009 2009 (20 Sep 2009):

MY BIRTHDAY! we had MAC for breakfast!!! nothing compares to a mac breakfast!! HOTCAKES FOR THE WIN!!! XD went back to the chalet after that and played some games. tidied up the place in the afternoon and blew up some balloons to decorate the place. cake arrived at 5pm and it's my FAVORITE fruit cake. =3 set up everything and relatives and friends arrived~

was waiting for my brother to cut cake with me but he couldnt make it so we started without him. took lots of pictures with sk's camera and the birthday song was sang in 3 different languages. LOL chinese, english and teochew. made a wish and blew out the candles. cake was delicious. fruits~! yummy~ hahaha oh and there's a particularly special item present next to my cake. it was something which i remembered i had during my birthday party when i was 3. yes... 17 years ago. it's a jelly doll~~! pictures of it will DEFINITELY be uploaded. =3

took pictures with the usual "gang" and van kissed me on the cheeks. but get this... hy KISSED me on the LIPS!!!!! XD and we took pictures of it. HAHAHAHA then comes the best part... WHIPPED CREAM~ bc smashed whipped cream into my face, i smashed him back. and that started the whipped cream "war". LOL whipped cream ended up all over the chalet. tsk tsk. but it was really fun. =p

21 Sep:

time to check out! cleaned up the whole place and off we went to my home. the leftovers were given to bc and van to bring home to eat. after everything was driven back to my house, we went to eat breakfast/lunch. then bc sent water and zh home while van and ben followed me home to play wii.

i found out about a good news in the afternoon. and that is, my mom strike 4D!!!!!! and it's my IC NUMBER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD x100 shiok like hell!!! and this ended a wonderful weekend. i swear this is my BEST ever birthday celebration EVER! =D

People to thank:

Bc: thanks gor for the gift and in helping out with the preparation of the chalet. =3

Van: thanks for the gifts and in helping out with the preparation of the chalet. =3 love you~

Ben: hey son, thanks for the gifts and in helping out with the preparation of the chalet. =3

Zh: thanks for the gift and in helping with everything. =3

Sk: thanks for the gift and in helping with everything. =3

TO THE ABOVE MENTIONED: I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS!! DO YOU KNOW THAT??

Cindy: hey darling thanks for the gifts and for coming to my chalet~ *hugs*

Zx: thanks for the gift and for coming to my chalet~

Sl: thanks for the gift and for coming to my chalet~

Ee hua: thanks for the gifts and hope you enjoy your birthday too~~~ MUACKS

Water: thanks for the gift (it's really pretty!) and for coming to my chalet~

Benedict: thanks for coming to my chalet~

May: thanks for the gift and for coming to my chalet~

Hy: thanks for the gift and the kiss and for helping me with the bacon and for coming to my chalet~ *muacks*

All my aunts and uncles and cousins: thank you all for coming to my chalet, for contributing to the food and the presents.

Last but not least, to my mom, dad and brother: thank you guys for being supportive of my idea of having this chalet. especially to mom and dad who spent hours preparing everything and making this perfect. i love you guys!

thanks to everyone who made an effort to come down or message me to wish me a happy birthday. you guys are the best!

p.s. my birthday wish is....... to always be happy

2009-09-20T02:21:00.002+08:00

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY~~!!!!!! XD

i'm having a chalet party right now. am home now cause i gotta take some stuff and decided to blog a little since blogger's NOT screwy already~!!!! =3

anyways, this year's birthday is most special cause many of my relatives celebrated with me. there's going to be an ACTUAL celebration tonight!! excited to the MAX! celebrating my birthday with close friends and family *even i didnt tell them it's my birthday* is truly a wonderful wonderful experience!

loads of thanks to my dearest parents who made this happen. FOR ME! XD

i'll upload pictures of my presents *another HUGE surprises there* as well as some of the actual celebration later tonight. hope i remember to take pictures. well, i'm off to arrange my stuff and head back to the chalet~

ciao!

2009-09-11T12:45:00.000+08:00

today is my unlucky day. boooo! =( my laptop blacked out. my desktop is screwy on facebook. and BLOGGER is also screwy!!!!! all of my entertainment = GONE.

plus.. last night, a fucking lizard SHITTED on my beautiful WHITE laptop!!!!! like what the hell can. i think it's all the shit's fault. that's why i'm so unlucky today. humphs

2009-09-07T15:26:00.000+08:00

saturday night prawning was loads of fun and laughter. it has been years since i've known melvin, mindy, kenneth and alvin. and it's really great that we're still friends. =) hope that we'll meet up more often.

picked up alvin at around 10plus, sent vanessa and ben home. after that met melvin and the 3 of us started prawning first. oh and i caught my first prawn faster than mel!!! XD though the way i caught the prawn was funny like hell. ask me if you're interested. =p

ken and min joined us at around midnight and we prawned all the way till 2 plus am. off to alvin's house where we cooked our prawns! (we caught 19 prawns in 3 hours. >.<) after which, we played mahjong all the way till morning. LOL reached home at 9 plus in the morning and zoned out till 2 30.

prawning is super fun. think i want to go prawn again~!! bc said to go bishan prawn better. maybe during the chalet we drive to bishan to prawn~!!! XD so looking forward to chalet~~ now i have to worry about food. any suggestions??

2009-09-05T16:02:00.001+08:00

i really should update.. i really should. but then again, blogger's screwy again. urgh

2009-08-28T11:20:00.002+08:00

it has been some time since i've last updated. i'm sure no one misses me in this space. hahaha. i have been working last week. as in a real job where i start from 9am and end at 5pm. just some filing shit but i really enjoyed myself during those short 5 days. missing my colleagues too.

anyway, on a lighter note, i brought my 2 babies, Cookie and Caramel, for grooming yesterday! it was a really fun experience for me and my babies. and seeing them so clean, i'm feeling really happy. i'm sure they're happy too~ after they get over the horror of bathing that is.. HAHAHA

i updated my wish list~ have a couple of stuff that is on the top of my "to-get" list. working hard to save up and buy them. really. having guinea pigs have put a sizeable hole in my bank account. =x but they make me happy. =) so i've got to say, the money's well spent.

meeting darling huahua tonight! speaking of her, i haven't met her in like... how many months already! i've lost count. so i'm looking forward to meeting her. =3 and i'm treating her to manicure and pedicure next month for her birthday~! she asked me to think about my present. and i know what i want. XD might be telling her tonight.

Japanese lessons have been going smoothly. i know i'm improving which is the reason why i'm hoping to get number 2 item in my wish list. i believe it'll help me improve more. =p おはいようございます！私はチュルイです。どうぞよろしく~~ =)

well, seeing as i have no idea what else to update about, i'm off to read my story book~! see you

2009-08-13T18:25:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to believe that my love life is non-existant. LOL and after everything that has been said and done, i can safely say that i dont believe in fairytales and love stories. cause they dont happen in real life. a lot of my friends broke up with their 'partner' this year. i think i've counted up to 5/6, including me. and to think i thought that my love life has improved this year. looking back, i cant help but laugh at my idiocy.

oh well i guess now i only have to concentrate on more pressing matters such as my 'job' and school which will be starting in oct. not forgetting japanese lessons, ktv sessions as well as gatherings with friends. my oh my, it seems i am rather busy afterall. XD now i'm happy about the fact that i'm single cause i know i wont be able to slot in so many activities into my life if i'm attached. blame that on poor time management on my part. hah

i've been re-reading J.D. Robb (for the third time!!) during my free time. Conspiracy in Death still made me tear even though i'm reading it for like the third or fourth time. and reading these novels has made me yearn for someone who can understand me like Roarke did Eve. ah well.. fairytales and love stories... i might not believe in them but i cant help wishing it otherwise.

oh oh head to my Facebook profile to look at my beautiful babies~ Caramel and Cookie. yes~ i've gotten new pets. GUINEA PIGS, yooo~~~ =D i seriously LOVE them. they are absolutely adorable and make really cute chirps if you listen carefully. haha they are my sunshine now. =)

2009-08-05T23:40:00.000+08:00

today is a happy day for me~ =D i bought my first guinea pig after weeks of searching. she's totally perfect!! and now i cracking my brain over a name for her. =) in the mean time, i'm in search of a male guinea pig to keep my baby company. XD excited. wanted to post pictures of my piggie's new home BUT blogger doesnt allow me to do so. =.= oh well. will post the pictures in facebook instead. look out for them~!!!

p.s. my piggie is coming home NEXT WEEK~!!!!

2009-07-29T13:46:00.003+08:00

the day i walked away, i swore that i wont look back. but.... i just dont listen, do i? i'm supposed to move on but to tell the truth, i havent. how do i let go off a on-again-off-again 3 years relationship? i really dont know how. every once in a while, i would wonder how you are doing. but you wanted all or nothing. i cant give you all and you forced me to take nothing. i know i'm the one who started it all.. and that i'm also the one who ended it. after 3 months, i still think about us. i did meet a new guy but i am too afraid to commit. he's almost like you.. wanting me to commit, to make promises but never really let me know what am i to him. and cowardly me escaped. cause i just cant stand another you in my life.

life has been boring. so i'm really really looking forward to buying my new babies so i can have something concrete to do. haha currently, i'm just passing my time playing games in Facebook (farmtown, my zoo, restaurant city, etc) and Maplestory. looking forward to start school but i know myself enough to know that when school starts, i'm going to look forward to holidays. HAHA

J.D. Robb's latest title is out in paperback! cant wait to get my hands on it. and there's this new book from Nora Roberts: Bed of Roses that's coming out in oct~ happy~~~ in the past, people called me a bookworm. i'm still a bookworm but please add the title "book collector" to my name as well~ hahaha seriously bought a lot of books in this year. now i dont have space in my bookshelf to accomodate the books. boos

there's been a lot of happy things going on in my life! guinea pigs, books, and now i get to DECORATE MY ROOM~ cause my dad wanted to change the lights for our house so he decided to REPAINT the whole house!!! and my brother and i get to choose what colors we want for our rooms!!! happiness~~~ ahahhaa i'm so making use of this golden opportunity to revamp my room. i cant decide what color i want for my room. is light green good or pale orange? i'm so excited! will post a picture of my new lamp when it arrives!!! XD

and after this post, i've realised even without you, i still can be happy. =) i hope you're happy as well and that one day we can be friends again. i love you

2009-07-23T13:33:00.002+08:00

i've been thinking.. what would i do if i ever find out that my days were numbered? to tell the truth, i dont know.. cause the thought never crossed my mind. dont ask me why it crossed my mind now cause perhaps my answer would be i have no idea.

you see, if anyone were to ask me whether i have live my life to the fullest, i would say no. there are lots of things which i wanted to do but i gave up halfway. the reason was that i lost interest. but i know the real reason was cause i'm afraid of failing. i absolutely hate the feeling. it made me feel useless. now you'll most probably tell me, it's ok to fail but trust me. for my pride, it's definitely NOT ok.

i've been living the life of a recluse, occasionally showing my face to the world only when necessary. eccentric? maybe but then again, i dont have much of a social life anyway. now you'll ask, dont you have any friends? i have friends. but i just dont feel like going out sometimes.

i admit i've been feeling sorry for myself and i kind of hate myself for what i've become. i hate myself for wanting to feel important all the time. i hate myself for always living in the past. i wanted more than ever to move on but weak little me still prefers decieving myself. i dislike the cowardly me. and i dislike the current me. i used to be open and trusting. alas, i'm living in the past again. i really should stop doing that.

if you're wondering did something happen to make me think this way, the answer is no. i'm just doing some reflection here. i know i can be a nuisance. i am loud when i actually just want some peace and quiet. i'm contradictive. and i'm sure as hell a difficult person to live with. i laugh to cover my insecurities. i move around to cover my nervousness (is there even such a word?? *rolls eyes*) but my most prominent flaw is i flee/hide to avoid rejection. i simply refuse to leave my comfort zone. i want to be loved but i didnt want to put in the effort. i've made tons of mistake these past few years that i regret.. ALOT. but i cant change that. so i've got to move on, and look back in regret.

i wanted more than ever.. to know how people view me. what kind of a person do they think i am. how they really feel about me. cause when i look into the mirror, i see a selfish, coarse and untruthful girl staring back at me.

2009-07-05T13:59:00.003+08:00

i'm playing maple now and am blogging cos i need to replenish my hp.. lol have been playing for a couple of hours and screaming away in frustration cos i couldnt kill a bastard.. GAHHHHH

anyways..... a little update. .. hmmmmmmm met darling cindy on thurs to buy some presents. had a great time catching up with her. =3 ohhh and i bought loads of books again. HAH

met ben on fri nite for dinner. talked abt a certain someone. LOL

ytd went pasir ris park with ben and van AGAIN. hahahaha were chatting the nite away.. and played Don't Forget The Lyrics. =.= sms-ed certain someone during the nite too.. hahahaha and last nite was full of screams. =.= van screamed REALLY loud at the sight of a CAT. like wat the hell... LOL den while at mac, van AND ben SCREAMED at the sight of a BUG... =.= win liao lo. den push the table towards me somemore. van still got face to say is cos she need to gain momentum to move back. thks ar.... LOL

certain someone oso screamed last nite.. cos of a bunch of cockroaches flying out from the toilet.. HAHAHAHA so yea... the nite's really full of screams~

ps. dun bother asking who is certain someone. i'm not telling~ =p

2009-06-28T11:56:00.002+08:00

ytd, i took a big step and went ahead with one of my plans: taking up jap lessons. XD

i've had alot of plans for myself but has kept putting it on hold. now, i'm gonna fulfill one of my plans. =3 i've been wanting to take up a third language and has been pondering which launguage for quite some time. den i decided on jap cos japan's culture facinates me and i really really do like jap~ =D who knows. mayb after learning jap, i might even take up a fourth language~

2009-06-25T16:18:00.002+08:00

i must be really bored... cos wen and i were having a conversation on shit.. LOL and we came to the conclusion that...

THE MOST RELAXING TIME IS SHITTING

hahahahahha

and i discovered that..

DRINKING COFFEE MAKES ME SHIT

hahahahahha x2

i believe shit talk is one of the funniest thing ever. =p

i'm back to playing maple. cos there's this really cool char: Knight of Cynus

not only is it easier to train, the skills are super cool~ =D and yes, maple-craze is once again back in my life! =3

2009-06-22T17:49:00.002+08:00

http://you.video.sina.com.cn/b/12264572-1366348230.html

i wanna learn this... =3

anyway, veh long nv update liao. i oso lost track of alot of stuff.. >.<>

being a totally random person *i'm damn proud of this*, i've been dragging ben to go pasir ris park with me at nite.. HAHAHA so far twice. i foresee more of such 'outings'. the latest outing included bc, van and sk cos we decided to try our luck and asked them. =p so off we went to pasir ris park and we: climbed, jumped, screamed, climbed more, jumped more and chatted even more. HAHA i kinda like it. it's like, how long has it been since we've last spent 'quality' time together and juz hung out. pretty much rare i guess. i hope we can do this more often. so i'll have to be random more often for this to happen XD

i got into uni, which i think i mentioned in my previous entry.. did i? i forgot. ahahahaha Double Major, here i come! hopefully, i study hard ba. =3

that day me and ben went out... on fri.. he came to my hse to watch his shuang zi xing. LOL and i was happily poking my ear hole.. i think he got a little scared. HAHAHAHA he asked me to stop poking my ear in front of him =p

went m'sia ytd with family. =3 ate DURIAN for lunch. damn shiok durian. loads of pics *around 50 and mostly my face HAH* will be uploaded in fb. =D damn fun luh. dad promised to drive us in nxt time. *cheers~*

i've concluded that... as i get older *physically* i'm actually behaving younger *mentally*. LOL cos my cousin *who is 12 n 8 yrs younger than me* called me childish!!! HAHAHAHHAAHA but then again, i really cant seem to grow up and i dun wanna~! =p

e necklace i bought online came and broke... T.T i only wore it TWICE. sobs..... i need a new one.....

ps. i miss huahua.. wanna go manicure??

2009-06-06T11:59:00.002+08:00

met van ytd for our monthly facial appointments~ =3 had dinner at KIM GARY thks to ben's blog. lol i like the almond tea!! =D yum~ e food's so so only la.. den went facial.. after dat go my hse. lol me and van were watching boys over flower tgt last nite. den we were discussing abt the 3 diff rendition of boys over flower... aka Japan, Korea and Taiwan. and we both agreed that...... KOREA has the best looking domyoji~~~ LOL but we have diff opinions on hanazawa... =p

anyways, went online shopping with van and we bought rings *again* and a necklace for me! =D soooo happy~ now need to wait yr end den i can buy NEW clothes!!!!! happiness~

2009-06-03T00:43:00.003+08:00

went for RWS interview today. still oki lorx~ nth much oso. juz dat sth embarrassing happened and i'm not going to say wat... *pouts*

anyways! Suntec exhibition halls 402-404 are having this BOOK FAIR~ LOADS OF CHINESE BOOKS~ =D i managed to trick bc into accompanying me go dere ytd~ LOVE YOU LA =p

didnt find much on the books that i like. but still.. i bought 4 books. =3 i happily went home and told mummy abt it. then she gave me $50 to buy MORE books!! =D oh the joy~

sooo after my interview today *oso held at suntec*, I WENT TO THE BOOK FAIR AGAIN AND BOUGHT 4 MORE BOOKS!!! =D

here are my spoils:

i think hor.. apart from soft toys, books are the nxt things dat really make my day~ =3

2009-05-24T23:53:00.005+08:00

finally blogging again~ hahahahahaha but most prob will "disappear" again until i feel like blogging ba. been really lazy to blog sia~~ anyway~!!!

TODAY
went to the science centre today with ben, van, richelle and hy!!!! =D new frens~~!! was super fun luh.. we were like kids inside the science centre. everything oso touch and play. LOL lunch at mac was cool~~ like seriously. esp the conversation... HAHAHAHAHA talks from nuts and sticks to cooked beef. =p though i noe ben really didnt want us to talk abt it... HAHAHAHAHAHA ah well~ it's always nice to have a little education aye~ =3

after science centre, we went to sing!!! =D i'm not going into too much details cos i'm feeling lazy again.. =x so i'll juz let pics do the "talking".

ps. richelle has a nice voice~ i like!! =D

me and ben~

how long has it been since i've pointed middle finger sia~ last time i so boy boy de lo... now lehx... become girl liao.. HAHAHAHAHA sometimes miss being a tomboy~ =p

richelle and me~!!! a little candid

and a decent pic of us~ oh yea, richelle's hair smells nice~ =3

ok... this is like super candid.. hy and ben laughed very loud when they saw my face.. LOL

nah. a decent one. i've been wanting to compare see whether my eyes or hy's eyes bigger.. i think now i noe le. T.T

me and my lao gong~~~ LOL

FRIDAY
check out my newest toy~!!!

see all the clothes and cotton inside? guess wat~

i'm making my own bears~!!!!!!!! i have to like.... draw the lines, cut the cloth, sew and stuff cotton. need to make the bears and their clothes~~! i've juz started only. will post more pics on my progress when i start sewing. =3

TUESDAY
i finally finally finally *and officially* GRADUATED~~~!!!!!!!!! =D

with moi mummy and papa~ =3 i'm a proud 'little' girl. =D

2009-05-18T21:11:00.001+08:00

you'll nv believe where i went and wat i did. i guess now, i'm really going to give myself a fresh start

2009-05-17T14:45:00.002+08:00

was talking to huahua dat day abt how i wanna go overseas... and she said i very rich. =.= is not i rich.. is more of like, i no chance spend money nia. if 5 days out of one wk u stuck at my dad's workplace, tell me how to spend la. if anyone manage to spend much, i call u god. LOL

went to Manpuku friday nite with my family and van and ben. ate GOOD sashimi. damn GOOD. and lots of other food. but the sashimi is damn GOOD. bought both my dad and bro an early bday presents. *super early cos their bday is in July. HAH*

now i forgot wat i wan to type liao... cham...... nvm. later then update.

2009-05-14T00:30:00.002+08:00

whee.. i very long nv update le hor~ but den again.. nobody reads my blog de ma.... LOL anyway a quick update ba.. since i nth to do.. hais

been addicted to RESTAURANT CITY lately~!!! i actually created a 2nd acc juz so i could get more ingredients! goes to show how crazy i am... tsk tsk

i've been listening to 妥协 on repeat these few days.. basically cos it describes how i've been feeling for the past 1 month or so.. n yes, i'm single again *rolls eyes* but i'm not proud nor happy abt it.. in fact, i feel empty and sad. ben's rite.. i'm not totally ok. i jus pretend to be. but sometimes, i wish i didnt feel so much.. mayb i wouldnt feel like crying now.. gahhh!!!

i guess i've been feeling moody.. talks with sl reminded me of some unhappy stuff which i tried to forget. actually, i nearly cried when talking to him abt those stuff.. lucky i didnt and he oso dunno dat actually i'm quite affected by it... but i still feel like crying.. fuck.....

ya la. now at nite.. i feeling sad le la. and to think 5 mins ago, i was happily tagging hy, richelle and ben. so stupid of me luh.. i think i'm going crazy le.. i'm having mood swings liao la. SIAN i really shouldnt have too much free time on my hands man... seriously. I WANNA GO SING

currently, i'm watching an anime on gays and gay love~ SUPER GAY AND FUNNY. LOL dere's all those kissing, hugging and sex. but but but the best parts are the conversations. HAHA he's a terrorist. *burst out in shrieks of laughter* if you're interested in the anime, go search JUNJOU ROMANTICA. *ps. i wan suzuki san or sth as big and cuddly like suzuki san~*

*pss. i decided that my ideal bf should be an author with a personality like Usami Akihito except for the part where he's gay*

*psss. i need to cry cos it hurts inside...*

到头来还是无解。历史不断重演，我真的真的累了。。对不起不能陪你走到最后。。。

2009-05-12T14:50:00.002+08:00

妥协 - 蔡依林

你总爱编织谎言
我负责配合表演
所有改变
只为了进入你的世界
这情节重复了一百遍
才发现是你的心太野

你划定楚河汉界
我不能轻易犯规
所有时间
都是先给了你优先权
不自觉爱到不敢冒险
成了你的傀儡一年两年
才看见我有多狼狈

爱到妥协到头来还是无解
绑着你不让你飞
历史不断重演我好累
爱到妥协也无法将故事再重写
你已下最后通牒
我躲在我的世界

你只是害怕一个人睡
我不想再为你掉泪
我了解不会变不再徘徊
开始自己的明天

this song came just at the right moment..

2009-04-30T12:26:00.001+08:00

i did it!! i submited my application~~~~ =D

2009-04-24T15:45:00.002+08:00

went for job interview today. it went really well.. think there's hope mayb. decided to further my studies after all.. hahaha. i think that's wat my dad really wants ba. gonna finalise my application by this wk. applying to enrol nxt yr jan though... cos i wanna take a break... planning to apply UNLV.. heard from fion that it's a rather popular choice.. dunno will accept me anot cos my results.......... >.<

work ma.... juz see how ba.. everyday like dat slack oso sian liao.. =3

2009-04-18T12:36:00.002+08:00

everyone's pronouncing my blog dead luh~! me is only too lazy to update ma >.< LOL

anyway~ the new T1 has finally opened!!! =D so far only went dere once with van. didnt shop much cos of the crowd. to quote my dad, "where did all these ppl come from???" HAHAHA

anyway, anyone watched Handsome Suit??? if you haven, i really, seriously recommend you to go watch. it is so damn freaking F U N N Y!!!!!!! i laughed my ass off la!! watched with van and our mood were further heightened by the 4 cute guys surrounding us. =3 van prefers the 2 guys beside her.. macho and tanned. i prefer the 2 guys besides me~ =D lanky and cute!

oh yea. while walking ard T1, me and van came across this sperm-like logo. and we were like wondering wat shop is dat. my guess is a sex shop. but van said, " no la. where got sex shop so big and in the open de.." LOL so we went to check it out ma.. turns out.... it's New Urban Male... =.= pengs..

bro went to camp on wed and i fell sick on wed... =.= cough, flu and fever.. SIAN now is beta but..... still having cough. ytd followed my parents to TM to collect their new wedding bands... =3 oh! and my dad bought me a Solvil Et Titus watch from City Chain. =D my graduation gift~~~!!!! yea!!! finally a nice watch to wear to interviews n stuff! loves~

dere~ i revived my blog.. LOL gtg now~ ciao!!

2009-04-02T22:40:00.002+08:00

wooooo had a job interview at changi airport T3 ytd! mostly sprouted rubbish so i dun really carry much hope dere.. >.<

had another interview today at mount faber!! and and and.. a FREE cable car ride up to Jewel box~~ LOVES =D

had a nice lunch with ah ben today. =3 and a nice talk too~

somehow, it juz feels wrong. i dunno why but i really cant feel it anymore 我想要的你能给吗？

2009-03-26T23:51:00.002+08:00

very long nv see tag war liao lorx~~ think i really must be getting old le. LOL didnt join in though i DID tag a line of "HI HY" in it.. HAHAHAHAHAH

blah~ anyways, hope that the "war" will cease soon ba~ =3 afterall, it started cos of someone who juz doesnt have that self-confidence in him/her-self and it sorta blew out of proportion. heng my blog nobody read de~ =3 *twiddle thumbs* HAHAHA

so bored lorx~ prom ytd was rather coooooool. took lots of photos. alot of drama involving my family car. >.< sent carol and fion home. the long ride through (old) tampines road was seriously scary like ****!!!! *ps. i dun get why the road HAS to be named (old) tampines road. why can it simply OLD tampines road without the stupid brackets? wat? even roads have to be young now? then name the road YOUNG TAMPINES ROAD la!!!*

ben and van staying over at my hse again~~~ =3 overnite bridge yo!!!!!

2009-03-19T23:03:00.002+08:00

ee hua, carol and manu start work le.. fion looking for jobs... kuku looking at schools... not sure abt val and the rest.. me? i'm juz SLACKING and ROTTING my life away. >.< everyday, wake up, eat, play game, surf net den slp.. zzz so boring luh... cant find a job......... SIAN so ya... lazy le. ciao~

2009-03-17T16:22:00.002+08:00

cant wait for April 18 to come!!!!! darling cindy! we going to PLAY AND DRINK ok~!!! (CAPS are intended for zx. LOL) nan de chu lai wan, must drink A LITTLE hor.!!! =3

oh oh oh~ and hor. we should go out once in a while to makan and chit chat!! =D double date yo~!!!!

2009-03-12T23:01:00.003+08:00

after darling cindy told me abt her daughter being Sonja Yuki. i started pestering baby for a name for our son and daughter.. HAHAHAHAHA and here's wat we've decided..

Son: Zelden Soh Kai Wen

Daughter: Zelfie Soh Kai Xuan

baby thot of the chinese names.. i came up with the english ones.. =3 so nice~~ oohh and and.. he wants our dog to be called..

Dog: Nel Nel

=D

2009-03-12T12:45:00.004+08:00

==:some long overdue "updates":==

welcoming my new niece to the family~~ hello Jia Xuan!!

my 1st homecooked meal together with my bro~~ fried rice and nuggets!!!

on 15th Feb 2009~~ BREAKOUT!!!

2009-03-11T01:22:00.001+08:00

i'm sooooo loving my new windows live messenger. =D

2009-02-22T12:50:00.002+08:00

I have been tagged by ser kiat to do this... ROAR oh well.. i'm bored anyway..

Rules and Regulations:-Each player of this game start off with 10 weird things/habit/little known facts about yourself.-People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.

-At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list this names.-No tag back

1. I used to be very brave but now i'm a coward.. T.T
2. I like watching horror movies but i get scared.. T.T
3. I gave my cousin the nickname Toilet. cos her name has Loo in it. >.<
4. I prefer my bro when he was younger.... and CUTER =D
5. I have been trying to lose weight for YEARS. but all i've accomplished is gain MORE weight. T.T
6. I love world wrestling FEDERATION with a passion. den they changed the name to world wrestling ENTERTAINMENT and i lost interest. *pouts*
7. but i still watch world wrestling entertainment. >.<
8. I have a deep fear of plastic dolls. i dreamt one of them wanted to kill me and since then, i'm afraid of them. >.<
9. I collected all of J.D Robb's (Nora Roberts) books but has not purchased the newest one yet. =x
10. I think Japanese dramas are the best! fresh storylines, very dramatic actors and actresses. NICE

TEN ARE YOU(s)
1.) Are you single -no
2.) Are you happy - i guess
3.) Are you bored - YES YES YES
4.) Are you fair - yea
5.) Are you Italian - Nope.
6.) Are you intelligent - No. ask ee hua. LOL
7.) Are you honest - i suppose
8.) Are you nice - nah.. i'm evil~ =D
9.) Are you Irish - no
10.) Are you Asian - yup

TEN FACTS
1.) Full Name - Chua Qiu Rui
2.) Nicknames- sheepie, sai mei (thks hor bc..), piggy, tiger.... alot la~!
3.) Birth place - errrrrrr... hospital
4.) Hair color - brown
5.) Natural hair style - NOT straight
6.) Eye color - brown with a tinge of blue at the sides
7.) Birthday - 20 September 1989
8.) Mood - bored like hell!!!
9.) Favorite color - black, red, white, pink(?)
10.) One place you'd love to visit - Perth. to pick strawberries =D

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1.) Have you ever been in love - obviously. =.=
2.) Do you believe in love at first sight - oh oh oh!!! Cannavaro~~~
3.) Do you currently have a crush? - cant say =p.
4.) Have you ever been hurt emotionally - yup. alot of times.
5.) Have you ever broken someone's heart - yea i suppose so..
6.) Have you ever had your heart broken - ohhh yup. same qns as qns 4 =.=
7.) Have you ever liked someone but never told them - have..
8.) Are you afraid of commitment - i am.. a little..
9.) Who was the last person you hugged - baby =D
10.) Who was the last person you said I love you to? - baby~ =D

TEN THIS OR THAT
1.) Love or Lust - love. isnt that obvious. =.= ok i'll be a deviant. i choose LUST
2.) Hard liquor or beer - hard liquor
3.) Cats or dogs - anything la. both also cute
4.) A few best friends or any regular friends - few best friends
5.) Creamy or Crunchy - mmmm creamy~
6.) Pencil or Pen - pencil. cos it's been quite some time since i've used a pencil
7.) Wild night out or romantic night in - hmm.. romantic night in sounds nice..
8.) Money or Happiness - happiness i guess.. though i kinda wanna money..
9.) Night or day - NONE
10.) IM or phone - phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER
1.) Been caught sneaking out - yea. it was fun though the punishment was ... >.<
2.) Seen a polar bear - yea... a little green some more..
3.) Done something you regret - confirm have
4.) Bungee Jumped -nope and i dun think i wanna try
5.) Eaten food that fell on the floor - have..
6.) Finished an entire jaw breaker - nope
7.) Been caught naked - so far no. HAHA
8.) Wanted an ex bf/gf back - yup. and he came back. =D
9.) Wanted to disappear - many times
10.) Kissed the same gender - yup. so far.. i've kissed 3 girls on the lips! =3

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
1.) Smile or eyes - eyes
2.) Light or dark hair - dark hair
3.) Hugs or Kisses - hmmm. kisses
4.) Shorter or taller - taller than me
5.) Intelligence or attraction - both
6.) Topman or Zara - topman
7.) Funny or serious - humorous
8.) Older or Younger - older
9.) Outgoing or quiet - quiet
10.) Sweet or Bad - sweet on the inside. bad on the outside~ =p

TEN HAVE YOU
1.) Ever performed in front of a large crowd - yea
2.) Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour - wah in pri sch that time.. with melvin.... talked for more than 8 hrs sia..
3.) Ever tried walking on your hands - no
4.) Ever been to a rock concert - no
5.) Ever been on a cheerleading team - yea in sec one
6.) Ever been on a dance team - no
7.) Ever been on a sports team - basketball and netball
8.) Ever been in a drama play/production - yes during sec 3.
9.) Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, hummer or Bentley?- no la.
10.) Ever been in a rap video?- nope

TEN... LASTS
1.) Last phone call you made - my bro. cos he nearly forgot my dinner last nite
2.) Last person you hung out with - erm. baby i guess?
3.) Last time you worked - last sat. tuition
4.) Last person you talked to - my mom. LOL
5.) Last person you IM'd - ee hua
6.) Last person you texted - baby.
7.) Last person(s) you went to the movies with - baby also...
8.) Last person/thing you missed - sleep... T.T
9.) Last website you visited - http://untitledstorybook.blogspot.com/
10.) Last kiss you had - last nite. with baby

People who get tagged...
1. Christabel Chua aka Toilet
2. Chervelle
3. Jazlyn
4. Ee Hua
5. Manu
6. Benjamin
7. Seng Kai
8. Cindy
9. Shao Qiu
10. cant think of anyone else le...

2009-02-22T12:29:00.001+08:00

been checking my email everyday. so far.... no news. T.T BUT i'm optimistic. i believe i can~

2009-02-20T00:52:00.000+08:00

finally applied for a job~!!! juz waiting now..

got the job for the career and education exhibition. =D got extra cash le!!! yea-ness

think i'm gonna go learn jap. to "upgrade" myself.

i REALLY should go study le. ciao~

2009-02-15T17:12:00.002+08:00

i'm supposed to be studying now i guess.. since i've completed my resume and cover letter. plus, i'm also done playing pet society. but sigh....... i juz cant bring myself to study. instead, i was surfing the net and came across this:
LG ice cream. dont ask me wat model. i juz noe it's called LG ice cream. >.< it looks so nice and female lo. i wan........................ BUT i cant get a new phone cos i've only been using my current one for 6 months. T.T SIAN

i'm heading for an interview tml~! hope dat i'll be able to get that temp job. =x and i'm gonna apply for my dream job soon!!! sent my resume and cover letter for vetting last nite. guess it'll be done by tues and i can send it by wed. *hopeful* i REALLY wan that job

i figured i'll be giving up my studies for the time being. really unclear abt wat i really wan to study. hoping that a few years at work would be able to help make up my mind. graduating in a couple of weeks time. no special feelings juz.. graduate lorx. will miss the frens i've made in tp but i'm sure we'll all keep in contact rite~ =D

i wanted this job since i was a young girl. perhaps in a different department but still the same company. after changing my "dream job wishlist" a couple of times *ok i admit. LOADS of times*, i still settled back to my 1st dream job. i guess it's really my heart's desire ba. =3 IF i ever get that job, i'm gonna CELEBRATE by......... i'm not sure yet. HAHAHAHA

2009-02-14T21:26:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!!! =3

i hope 2009 valentine is a good day ok. for me, it's filled with work, resume and studies. T.T BUT i celebrated on 11 Feb le. =D

watched Inkheart with baby on wed and found it rather nice. =) think i might go read the book now. past experiences told me whenever there's a movie adaptation of a book, it's best to watch the movie 1st before reading to avoid disappointment. besides, it's rather impossible to squeeze a hundred-over-pages book into a 2 hr movie. *ps. my past experiences were Harry Potter and Twilight*

met baby on thurs again. *he had sth to give me* and well.. it was one of the best days of my life. *ps i'm always saying dat. HAHA* but still. he accompanied me to my tutee's hse, waited for me for 1 and half hour and sent me home. =D happy happy~

didnt meet him today cos both of us had to work but it's ok. =) everyday's valentine's day to us!

gift from him to me

eternity bears

together with eternity rings

loving each other till eternity.. =)

2009-02-02T00:40:00.003+08:00

i believe i'll love him for a very long time..

urgh i realise i really cant gamble. i jus keep losing!! =.= lucky i nv take gaming as an elective. calculus suits me beta. LOL

2009-01-30T01:21:00.002+08:00

i cant show him my fears cos i dun wan him to give up

i cant show him my tears cos i dun wan him to feel bad

i cant tell him wat i've sacrificed in order to be with him

cos i dun wan him to leave me again

but in a little part of my heart, i'm juz hoping he could see how much i've done for him.. i noe i'm being unreasonable but i'm insecure. cos i cant feel his love

2009-01-20T12:50:00.008+08:00

PICTURE POST

giant sugarcane juice~!

i cook!

we're a bunch of gamblers

poooding!!

artistic with thks to kelly HO

hi jon~

my bookshelf's bursting

to prove my love for J.D. Robb. i have all her titles except for Salvation in Death

Twilight fever~

collectible prints! lucky van nv notice. HAHAHA

collector edition: The Tales of Beedle the Bard =3

J.K. Rowling's signature~!!!!

small but unique

J.K. Rowling's illustration~!!!

2009-01-11T02:40:00.002+08:00

If Everyone Cared - Nickleback

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight
Singing Amen, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing
Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along
Singing Amen I'm alive
Singing Amen I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

2009-01-01T12:23:00.002+08:00

wheeee 1st post in 2009~!!!! =D HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here's a list of 1st's in 2009:

1) Movie: Twilight
2) Person i see: Vanessa
3) Sms: i seriously have no idea
4) Taxi fare: $12.10 *LOL*
5) Breakfast: Sausage McMuffin with Egg
6) Present: Soft toy from sy =D
7) Slept: at 7 30am
8) Project: Club concept T.T

and now, it's back to projects, sch work and such.......

still,

2009 started with a DAMN HOT KISS~!!!! =)

2008-12-31T13:21:00.002+08:00

hmmmmmmm going to end of 2008 le.. in less than 12 hours, we'll be welcoming in 2009. but totally no feeling de lorx.. like nth special.. and here's a summary of year 2008 (for me).

Dates i'll nv forget.

1st Jan 2008: Happiest day of my life. (for now)

14 Feb 2008: Sweetest day of my life.(for now)

17 March 2008: Off to conquer Cactus Resort Sanya

24 March 2008: First body massage experience >.<

16 April 2008: First experiece with Sanya's BEAUTIFUL beach =D

12 May 2008: First clubbing experience in my whole life.

12 June 2008: Family came Sanya to visit =D

18 June 2008: The start of my month-long illness T.T

1st August 2008: Home sweet home~!!!! =)

20 September 2008: First clubbing experience in Singapore. ^.^

24 November 2008: Got my driving license!!!! =D

25 December 2008: The truth

29 December 2008: Limited Beetle the Bard arrived!!!!! HAHAHA *loves*

so many things happen lo.. 2008 ar.. i tell u... is the year i cried the most. but it is also the year i learn the most. and laughed the most. in 2008, i noe who are my true frens. who's going to stay by me for life and who are not.

but 2008 sucks... cos of the projects. >.< they suck sooooo much, my xmas and new year are ruined! *pouts*

2008 is also the year.. where i bought the most books!! hahahahahaah over 30 books man.... 27 titles from J.D. Robb. *yes, i'm a fan* totally in love with Eve Dallas and Roarke. *drools*

2008 is also the year where i started taking my life seriously. still deciding between further studies or working. leaning more towards further studies though. but should circumstances give me no choice, i might go for work. alr thot abt wat industry to go into. Attractions! =)

i have also gotten fat in 2008. =( cant let that happen. need to slim down!!!! also starting to care more for my looks. went for pedicure and manicure this year. *i love my nails~=3* also put on make-up once in a while. =x

shopped and spent the most in 2008 too~ aw shucks. bought like mp3, handphone, laptop, DS lite. half of it were from my own pockets. *proud of myself* learning to be more independent and to not spend too much of my parents' money. =3 working part-time to earn some extra pocket money. haha oh oh. i even signed up for a facial package with van! *excitement*

aiya.. in a sense, in 2008, tried alot of new things lo. LOL so yea.. hope 2009 will bring me beta things and nicer surprises ba. =) Happy new year, everyone!!!

2008-12-28T13:39:00.003+08:00

sometimes, i dun get why i bother so much. so damn tired.. with all the projects and stuff.. and i still have the energy to see whether my frens are doing ok anot. i mus be crazy. but den again, juz cos i dun talk to some frens anymore, doesnt mean i wun care ba. as long as they're happy with their lives, i feel happy for them. frens can dun meet, dun talk. they juz exist in your life. i'm so dumb lo..

ppl tell me to give up. even cousins tell me it's not worth it. but... it's juz dat.. i tried letting go. i really did try. but my heart juz wun listen. and i thot to myself.. if i can wait one yr, why not wait for another. i'm not in a hurry or anything. i've got all the time in the world. even if it meant being alone, i oso dun mind ba. life's not always abt being with someone u love. we might not be tgt now, but that doesnt mean i should wallow in self-pity and not do wat i'm supposed to do. might as well get on with my life. i believe wat's mine will eventually be mine. i've had enough of begging for a little care. give me wat i deserve. and i will definitely make it worth your while..

2008-12-26T01:41:00.002+08:00

in the end, i still decide to wait. no matter how much i wan to let go, i simply cant. cos in my heart, i noe he's the one. this time, i wun ask him to stay. i'm gonna wait for him to tell me to stay. show me you truly care.

all bitterness are worth it. as long as the results are sweet. i love you

2008-12-25T23:05:00.001+08:00

it hurts.. i dunno why but it hurts alot

2008-12-25T03:47:00.002+08:00

xmas.. alot of memories.. good ones.. den as i sat dere chatting with my frens, i thot to myself. is it really worth it? is he really worth my tears? i have a long way to go.. and i shouldnt let someone who has left to hold me back from wat i'm supposed to do. it's juz dat, when he left, he took a part of me. and now, it feels like life is juz moving by slowly. i'm tired but i have only myself. *van might argue that i still have her. love you, hubby. muacks* when i want to share my thots, there's only air. it doesnt feel real but it is real. uttering rubbish at this ungodly hour is really not my style.

i tell myself, i'll juz allow myself one more nite to rmb. to rmb him, to rmb the times we had. den it's time to move on. cos he dun love me lyk before and i noe my feelings for him has changed. wat used to be hope has turned into resignation. wat used to be passion has turned into numbness. sounds so emo rite.. i AM emo.. zzzz hate myself for being so weak.

give me one more nite. to cry, to love, to give everything i have. tml, i will move on. i will...

i've decided.. i wanna be a mom before the age of 25. i dun care i'm married anot. i'm ok with having a kid before marriage. i juz wan a kid. i dun even mind being a single mom.....

1 or 2 years later, i WILL leave sg.. and i might not come back..

2008-12-21T23:21:00.001+08:00

bit by bit, second after second, i realised how fucked up spa can be. urgh

2008-12-15T23:36:00.002+08:00

i finally finished watching 1 Litre of Tears. van said i will cry but... i didnt. i managed to control my tears. lol but it's seriously touching. half of the episodes are so touching, i had tears gathering in my eyes. i esp liked that scene where Ako was scolding Hiroki. i really want to cry.

so yea. love it~!

2008-12-15T11:03:00.002+08:00

i really really REALLY need to start working on my projects...

GYM with darling hua hua later~ gonna train.

been watching wrestling for the past few days. jeff hardy rox~ john cena super rox~! if asked wat type of guy i like, john cena's THE ONE. HAHAHHAHAHA i wan my bf to have a body like john cena~ mayb not that muscular but strong. yea i wan strong guys~ =D

我很努力地掩饰我的心痛，我很努力地放开你的手
可是为什么我还是无法忘记我们的过去
承诺到哪去了？一起说好的幸福呢？
难道我们的爱这么经不起考验吗？
宝贝我好想你，你最近还好吗？

2008-12-10T00:01:00.005+08:00

ever wondered wat happens when a person gets too stressed? i have pictures to show u~

during an "intensive" group project meeting..........

"urgh! wat to do?!?!?!"

"charge!!!!!"

"huh?"

"ROAR"

ape?!?!?!?!

alien!!!!!!

*jaws dropped open*

i dunno why but this reminds me of Mr. Bean. o.O

i'm a die hard SOCCER fan~

getting retarded~~~~~~~~

LOL shaz got bored and started playing with my lappy's web cam. and that's the results. i absolutely dig the "soccer ball"~ HAHAHAHAHA

2008-12-03T01:58:00.000+08:00

muahahahhahahahahaha i finally placed an order on the Twilight series~ =D

2008-12-01T02:48:00.002+08:00

ppl say, in order for ppl to love you, you must first love yourself. i guess it's true ba.

i love him enough to let him go. but i dun love myself enough to get myself out of this misery.

for once, i juz wan to be loved. it's just dat simple. either he turns around to accept me again, or someone comes along and take me away.

i have this knot in my heart. someone come untangle it.. cos it hurts..

i'm trying my best to move on. but whenever i see him name, i juz cant find it in me to move on. is this true love or stupidity?

2008-11-30T11:08:00.001+08:00

i passed i passed i passed~~~ =D

time to vroooom vroooom ard sg~

2008-11-25T21:09:00.000+08:00

as much as i try to hide it, somehow i still feel it in my heart. that ache, that emptiness

2008-11-20T19:28:00.003+08:00

i'm pissed off. cos almost nothing has been going right today. it started with me forgetting to bring my fucking hp out to sch. den.... things started going downhill..

1) i only realised i forgot my phone while i was walking halfway to take the bus. but i decided, hey since my bro is coming back home in the afternoon, he can like help me to bring to sch or sth. but still, i was almost late for sch. *gloom 1*

2) after spa tutorial, the news was spread that for LnR case study, we're supposed to submit individual report less than one day BEFORE submission. and all along, we thought it was a group report. *gloom 2*

3) i waited at the library for 2 hrs for my bro to pass me my phone. when it's close to 4pm, i had to borrow someone else's phone to call him. only to hear, "oh sorry sorry. i forgot." i hung up on him. *pissed 1*

4) i was supposed to meet bc today at 7 plus to go cut hair. as i didnt have my phone with me, i had to rush home to get it. so after driving ended at 6.05, i rushed back. on bus 8, i missed my stop so i ended up alighting at the library. *gloom 3*

5) i ran home. and when i reached home and got to my phone, i had 4 unread msges and 8 missed calls from bc. called him back, only to hear, "eh i need to do project. another day i pei u go cut can?" *pissed 2*

all these accumulate together to make me super pissed off. mainly at myself. cos if i didnt forget my phone, i would be pissed off at my bro. and if i had my phone with me, i would have known sooner that bc cant make it today and sooooo i wun have to rush. so overall, it's my fault la..

fuck u la qiu rui

2008-11-15T00:46:00.000+08:00

do support~

http://www.petition4fairtransport.org/

2008-11-14T08:59:00.001+08:00

more updates on the zoo incident~

http://news.sg.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1784471

after one night, i still think it's not right

goodbye~

2008-11-13T22:00:00.002+08:00

ahhhhh~ i've overspent!!!!!!!!! crap! spa + pedicure = BROKE *the horror*

ytd bought a new lappy~~~ thks to dad! =D now no need worry dat my compaq will crash le! muahahahahahahahahahhahaha

sth made me kinda mad today. got home, turned on the tv and guess wat? on the news, there's this report abt a malaysian guy committing suicide by "jumping" into the jaws of the white tigers at the Singapore Zoo. go read up on this news article:
http://news.sg.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1783599

ppl often find creative ways to die. eg, jumping in the path of a mrt train. but this tops it up. being bitten to death by tigers? like applause to his creativity! *sarcasm alert* watever reasons he have to end his life, i sympathise with him. but. why do this? like he has some secret fantasy of being eaten to death. that's sick. seriously..

1st of all, i do NOT encourage ppl to kill themselves but even if you really DO decide to do that, dun do it in front of so many ppl. like.. the zoo has alot of kids. is your problem so huge dat not only you had to end your life, you oso wan kids to go through that nightmare?

i dunno la. it's juz dat i really like the zoo and i really cant believe ppl would actually do this. it's inconsiderate and cowardly. urgh i'm soooooo angry! who knows next time, which idiot will decide to jump into the lions' den. oooooo the horror!

2008-11-12T13:50:00.005+08:00

PHOTO UPDATES!!!!

a tasty Chateau Belgrange Rose matched with.....

the ever tasty Creme Brulee. and within 1 minutes.....

it's gone~!!!! and so....

came a 2nd Creme Brulee!!!!!! and this time,

we decided to savour~

My Love For Babies~!

the lovable Le Le~

his mischievious (sp?) sister Megan~

we're good friends~!

my pretty neices~

Fang Yi. another neice of mine~

NIGHT SAFARI

excited and some cam-whoring while we wait for our turn to buy tix.

ben~

bc~

me~

van~

creepy her~

dim sum anyone?

i found my long lost grandma~!!!!!

one plate of chicken rice please!!

the HOT HOT HOT vampire. come suck my blood, master~

2008-11-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

LOTS of photos to upload but i'm too lazy~~ HAHA

am currently addicted to FB. Are You Interested application. hoping to find my special friend. LOL

in 2 wks time, gonna take my test~ VROOOOOM!!

2008-11-05T23:20:00.002+08:00

死性不改 Boy’Z/Twins

Twins:再见了我的宠爱
谁愿接受这种意外
你赞我天生可爱
不愿看着我离开

同伴也话我傻
喜欢受挫
宁愿情敌在伤我

人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
无奈你最够刺激我凡事也治倒我
几多黑心的教唆我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火
就击倒我么

谁恋爱就多障碍
死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱
我没法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
能在我拱手让爱

Boy'z：我怕可一不可再
难道你被爱都有害
我确信天真不会错
威力会移山填海

同伴也话我傻
喜欢受挫
宁愿情敌在伤我

人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
无奈你最够刺激我
凡事也治倒我
几多黑心的教唆我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火
就击倒我么

谁恋爱就多障碍
死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱我没法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
能在我拱手让爱

2008-11-05T14:01:00.000+08:00

CHANGE WE NEED

and

CHANGE WE HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

2008-11-03T22:22:00.002+08:00

i was thinking to myself jus now. why do i care so much dat i'm growing fat? it's not as if i wanna impress someone or sth. den dis little devil popped up in my mind and said:

imagine yourself WADDLING around. den you lose your balance and you ROLLED down the stairs like a BALL!

after that really disturbing thot, i'm gonna slim down no matter wat. GYM! BADMINTON! DIET!

2008-10-30T22:20:00.003+08:00

i wonder.. when is half blood prince gonna be screened here in sg. it has started in the USA on 17 July. COME ON!!!!! IT'S BEEN SOOOOO LONG!!! GET HERE ALR~

2008-10-29T14:39:00.003+08:00

安靜了 - S.H.E
只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中属於我们的婚礼
却成了单人结婚进行曲

在这场爱情角力的拔河里
爱我还是爱你
你选择了自己 wo~

撒娇的可爱的迷人的爱哭的
照片里曾经的都是你喜欢的
如今我还在原地
你却走回你的记忆

你说我爱你太多
就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福
短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱
让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空
你是不是能够给我

你说我给你太多
却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺
永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口
我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最後温柔
是因为我太爱你

只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里
梦想中属於我们的婚礼
安静了在我枕边的梦里

我知道相爱原本就不容易
爱不是一场雨努力就有结局 wo~

撒娇的可爱的迷人的爱哭的
照片里曾经的都是你爱着你的
连假的泪还温热
却没有人握我的手

你说我爱你太多
就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福
短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱
让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空
你是不是能够给我

你说我给你太多
却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺
永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口
我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最後温柔
是因为我太爱你

2008-10-12T21:04:00.002+08:00

i've let go of alot of things. some things were once important to me, some are still important to me. time to move on and not think abt wat others think le. i need to get my life back~

2008-10-10T15:08:00.002+08:00

you noe.. if it were a few years ago, i would never thought i would say this. but yea.. see.. i'm kinda glad, or more accurately, relieved dat i've decided to end this frenship. it's lyk.. ever since i knew her in sec sch, life's been full of more downs than ups. i'll never forget e 1st time i met her in sch. 2 girls, with nowhere else to go except for the lib. my life in sec sch was kinda pathetic but at the same time, peaceful. i gotta admit. it was fun at the beginning. all those joy and laughter.

then e tears, the problems started flooding in. then e cutting started. and to tell the truth, i felt guilty. i kept thinking if only i had been more of a help. if only i listened to her problems, mayb things wouldnt be this way. during those times, all i could do was to watch from the side and do nothing. i felt lost and i noe i'll never forget the time when she cried on my shoulder. i felt her sadness. it is true she gave me some of my best memories in my life. but she gave me e darkest moments in my life too. i couldnt look at her and not rmb. i couldnt forget e pain i felt when she hurt herself.

not only me. i believe e others too will rmb. how one girl could cause so much unhappiness in all of us. and while we were all still unable to walk out of it, she "disappeared" and came back after a few months, more "matured" than us. her criticism of us being childish only strained the alr straining (-.- i couldnt think of another word) bond between us. and i do admit, we're childish. and dat it doesnt help dat someone is constantly wanting us to "grow up" and be more lyk her.

to tell the truth, our frenship broke during that one incident. and i noe, when 2 ppl have chosen different paths, wat used to be could never be. wat she has, i dun. but wat i do have, makes up for it. actually, when i think abt it, i do have more than her. my love life might be in a mess but frenship-wise, i'm doing good i guess. yea we might be childish but hey, wat's e fun in life when we CANT be childish? at least, give us credit dat we do noe when to be serious.

i dunno why i'm talking abt all this and i sure as hell am not bitching. it's juz dat i lyk reading ppl's blog and when i read hers, it brought back many unhappy memories. i think of how i used to be in the past and now, hell.. i've become more of a pessimist and a wild girl. which can be both a good and bad thing. but with my family, i felt happier. now, my relationship with my parents are more of lyk frens which is great. life has certainly improved for me and i dun quarrel with my parents dat often. come to think of it, my mom doesnt like her much. my mom reckons i'm being used. which of course, led to a lot of arguments. but all that's in the past now. =)

now, we've become more of like strangers. so yea. thks for the birthday present but.. i would be thankful if nxt time, dun call me out le. cos my ans would be no. i dun wan to go back to the past le. so yea. guess this chapter of my life is done. dun think i'll talk abt her anymore in my blog. dat's all i've got to say here~ ciao

i couldn't look at her and not remember the pain and guilt from the past. maybe things would be better if we just end it as it is now. cordially.

2008-10-08T17:34:00.002+08:00

hey little baby hiding in a corner
dry your tears and come out to play
i noe life's been tough for you
i noe those feelings haunted you
guilt, love, despair. one after another
but dry your tears darling, dry your tears

it's not over
the day is young still
open up your heart and embrace the sunshine
i noe you wish you could turn back time
to lessen the burden in your heart
but dry your tears darling, dry your tears

baby time do heal open wounds
even though they do leave a scar
things would never be the same again
no matter how hard you wish it to be so
so dry your tears darling, dry your tears

let go of your hand and let Fate decide
look towards the future the day is still bright
and when night falls, you hide in your blanket
with tears rolling down your cheeks
i'll come to you and say these words,
Dry your tears darling, dry your tears...

2008-09-25T10:44:00.002+08:00

it's scary but i've become a sucker for pink stuff. and dat's lyk soo... girly.. LOL but yea. i bought meself a PINK psp last time and i bought meself a PINK mp3 recently. dat was lyk .... wat e hell's wrong wif me?? but den again, i'm a bigger sucker for WHITE. cos.. i'm targeting that pretty WHITE ds lite so yea. it's WHITE ok. and i bought this pair of WHITE shoes. seems lyk white is my fave color now~

yea-ness that i'm going to sell me psp and buy a ds. cos my bro won a psp and it seems weird to have 2 psp at hm. redundant. going to buy ds instead cos i wanna play cooking mama and harvest moon~ woooooo HAHA

had a great bday celebration on sat with bc and gang. clubbing at double o. the experience was... hmmmm... LOL but it was unforgettable. thks to zh, bear, and whoever else for the surprise. =) thks to the kukus for chip and dale~ thks to ser kiat and bc for finding a dale for my lonely chip! =D thks to van for the white tube top which i'll wear after i slim down. LOL thks to ben for that GIANT pen. kakakaka wat i wanted. =p thks to my bro for that packet of tissue. =.= and who else ar.... oh ya. thks to sl for helping me purchase a J.D. Robb book. appreciate it much. =) thks to mom for accompanying me to play the candy machine. $25 and we've got ourselves a HUGE bag of sweets. =D and the bag and puzzle frame too~~~ thks to dad for buying me LOAD shit of BOOKS. building up my mini library of my fave books~! many loves to AMAZON. 谢谢你给我的惊喜. who else did i forget ar? dun think i forgot anyone.

this yr's bday is special. cos there's no bday song and cake. LOL but~ i like it this way. =D

rock band's FUN

i dunno if it means anything but i miss manu. lyk seriously

2008-09-18T11:30:00.002+08:00

ben asked me whether i'm celebrating my birthday on sat and i told him no. i forgot to mention to him that i'm celebrating it with my family. =x oh and that i'm going clubbing with bc and gang. den van called me last nite saying wat if ppl get offended that we fail to inform them abt clubbing. and i ask her, "which is more bastard? knowing e person is underaged and STILL ask whether he/she wan to go anot or just dun ask them to go and let them find out on their own?" den she was lyk. i dun care, if i die, you follow me. =.= HAHAHA p.s to ben: we're not talking abt you but i think you DO have an idea who.

anyway, it's not such a huge crime seeing that we asked ben out for kbox the next day. we just haven decided on who else to invite. HAHAHA and if ben ever pang seh us............. *think of the consequences* LOL do give me a call, ben. it's been some time since we've chatted. and nothing and everything. o.O

friday's dinner with polymates. ee hua's birthday celebration~ i'm still thinking when to give her her present seeing that she lives so near. lol

anyway, watched Mama mia with bc and van on tue. actually wanted to watch 4bia BUT i forgot to bring my IC *to the delight of van* so yea. Mama mia's a musical. i only found that out when they started singing. -.- but it's really nice. funny and the guy, old guy actually, is really H.O.T so yea, i'm actually secretly glad that i forgot my IC. not gonna admit that to van seeing how i wanted to scare her by forcing her to watch a horror movie with me. HAHAHAHA i noe i'm evil~

went jogging with my mom last nite. had a nice chat with her. =) it's nice catching up with her i guess.

and last nite while debating with bc which club to go to, my mom said, " dun go club la. just go somewhere and see stars." =.= thanks mom

and sometimes i wonder whether things can be amended if i made e first move

2008-09-12T15:02:00.001+08:00

What Kellychuaqiurui Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.

You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.

People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

People see you as a complete enigma, and only you truly understand who you are.

You spend most of your time introspecting and seeking truth.

You're a very interesting person... but not many people know you enough to realize it.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-09-10T09:58:00.002+08:00

been a while since i've last blogged. been hiding in my purrrrrfect little world. LOL wat's my purrrrrrrfect little world? let's see. it consist of books, books, and more books as well as wonder(ful)land. LOL plus, a little weekend shopping (once in a while) oh and i have e company of great frens lyk zh, bc and van. *i still haven forgiven sk cos i came back for ONE month plus alr and he's only met me TWICE* LOL anyway, stuck at my dad's workplace again. but i guess i'm juz enjoying this relaxed way of passing my time. more time to read.

my life currently is close to perfect. yea. i supposed i lyk keeping to myself. perhaps a little eccentric to the eyes of many. HAHA but who cares. i'm still me~ recently ppl has been talking abt how they've changed. how diff they are from the past. it sort of made me look at myself. and i think, hell i've transformed~! i used to be gullible but not now. ok mayb once in a while but smarter than before. i used to be overly concerned abt what others think of me but not now. i've learnt to love myself and treasure those who appreciates me for who i am. i used to be an extrovert but not now. it might seem lyk a bad thing but i kinda lyk keeping to myself. i used to think ppl owe me but not now. in fact, i owe others for their kindness in giving me what i have now. i used to think i had everything i wanted but not now. i just realised i am a long distance away from wat i really want. i nearly got it but alas~ it's not e time YET. rambling~~~ LOL

driving lessons have been fun. a quote from my instructor: You're a daring driver but you tend to be careless. HAHAHAHAHAHA i guess it's cause i nearly knocked down TWO ppl and nearly crashed THRICE. but yea. another instructor said i am confident on e road~ HAPPY

i haven seen ben in lyk close to one month. o.o i wonder which rock he's been hiding under. or am i e one doing the hiding? LOL think i will call him out for shopping one of these days.

sometimes, i acknowledge the fact that i can be an idiot. but i think my bro tops my idiocy. he went to camp taking e toothpaste with him. i think either he FORGOT that i'm sharing the toothpaste or he ASSUMES that i dun have to brush my teeth during the time he's gone. like WHAT THE HELL

2008-08-25T15:21:00.002+08:00

one more hr till driving lesson. today's gonna be my 2nd lesson. haha excited but at e same time, nervous. sitting behind e wheels for e 1st time is rather nerve-wrecking. lol esp when e car wouldnt move. =x i really do need a little more control on my steering wheel cos i kept going left and right and back to left again. yea, hazard on the road. ironically, my instructor DID turn on the hazard light. LOL

anyway, hope to get my driving over and done wif fast. juz gonna chiong the lessons den take e test and hopefully pass it at 1st go. kaka yea gonna be alot of fun~

am waiting "patiently" for my J.D. Robb books to arrive. should be here by tml or wed. EXCITED~!!! nth has ever made me so happy apart from books. ok mayb soft toys ranks top but who's counting. HAHA

i realise no matter how i try to bridge the distance, it's alr too late. you and i are not lyk b4 anymore. perhaps you've given up on me alr. perhaps i juz didnt wan to try anymore. all i wan to say is i missed u. but i supposed u would rather things remain as it is now. i can see you're happy wif how things are now. all i can say to you is i'm sorry and get well soon.

i noe you only chose to run and i'm e one who let go. i'm sorry for all the hurt i might have caused. but nothing will ever make me forget how lost i felt when you left me stranded.

2008-08-18T17:40:00.002+08:00

have you ever heard of a song which gives you goosebumps? i'm sure you've come across such songs. but once such song came into my attention thks to wen who decided dat he wans to gimme a scare in bright daylight. and as i listened to the song, one word came into my mind. ghost

you cant categorise this man as human. his voice, i swear by my dead grandpa, is out-of-this-world. wen calls him alien. me, i'm simply assuming he's a ghost. you noe those old horror movies with those freaky music?????

go youtube and search Vitas Dedication. listen and you'll understand wat i meant. leaving you with this haunting song, i'm off~

2008-08-17T21:37:00.004+08:00

i've gotta say this yr's olympic games sure are interesting. alot of world records are being broken (mostly in the pool) and the matches are so exciting.

1st, there's Michael Phelps, the guy with those big ears. out of the 8 events he participated, he won a total of 8 gold medals. and if i rmb correctly, he broke 6 world records. it really was super exciting watching him swim. sometimes he gets the lead from the start. other times he catches up at the last minute. if i rmb correctly, it was ytd's match where he won by juz 0.01sec. that was the time dat separated gold from silver. is dat cool or wat~

one of Phelps stronger swim would be the butterfly stroke. this was the match whereby he helped USA to get from 3rd place to 1st during the Men's Relay. by the way, he's the 3rd swimmer. and yes, world record broken~

next in line would be Usain Bolt. a note here: i dunno much abt this guy but i've watched him run the 100m men's final and he's lyk a bolt of lightning. (no pun intended)

the 100m men's final has alot of fast runners with 7 out of 8 having under 10sec timing. i'm not sure Bolt broke the world record during the heats or semi-finals but he did break it at 9.72sec.

and believe it or not, he broke his own world record AGAIN with a timing of 9.69sec. and anyone watching that race would noe dat to him, it was easy as a breeze. from his facial expression, it was as if he's saying, "man, that was easy." so now, he's the fastest man on earth and yea, he helped Jamaica win its 1st gold medal at 100m men's. it was a wonder watching him.

last but not least, i would like to commend on our singapore's women table tennis players. though they lost but they really did play well tonight in the table tennis team finals. the team line-up was the same as when we played against south korea but the result was different.

the 1st match was Feng Tian Wei vs Wang Nan. Feng wins the 1st game but loses the subsequient ones partly due to lack of experience.

the 2nd match was more interesting with Li Jia Wei going up against Zhang Yi Ning. Zhang was ranked world no. 1 and Li was world no. 6. they used to attend the same sports achedemy at Beijing back in 1990s and were once frens. Li played a really good game with aggressive attacks but she was no match against Zhang who won the whole match 3-1

the 3rd and unfortunately last match was a doubles match. Li and Wang Yue Gu vs Zhang and Guo Yue. the team of Li and Wang was really strong but proved to be not strong enough to overcome Zhang and Guo. singapore went down 3-0

though we lost but the girls really did put up a good fight. and yes, we finally got an olympic medal after 48 yrs. it doesnt matter wat color the medal is. wat matters is, sg did make it to top 3 and we did play against the world's top. good job, girls~ singapore's proud of you.

haha my entry today lyk so damn formal lorx. but ya, i really had a lot of fun watching all those games. for example, i simply love the match between sg and south korea (women table tennis team). 3 and a half hours of nail-biting action and i swear, i really did bite my nails. LOL anyway, it could be due to the fact that i had so much time dat i am able to watch most of the games. but yea~~ super nice. HAHA it will be all over the tv, radio and papers abt the women table tennis but who cares. we've got a MEDAL~!! lyk after 48 years~!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA happy~~

2008-08-11T10:43:00.002+08:00

fri was the late bday celebration of my lao gong, vanessa pwa. and oh the joy~ there's no photos! blame my old mind for forgetting. sigh. i AM getting old you noe. it's going to be 19 dis yr and b4 you noe it, i hit the god forbid 20s!!!! *screams and runs away in terror*
p.s. i can imagine a HUGE 20 chasing after me. it was a nightmare. =.=

watever. LOL anyway, dined at cartel, played arcade and headed over to van's hse for my long awaited videos!! yay-ness~ stayed dere until lyk 3 plus den walked hm wif ben, sk, zh and zx. had a good talk with ben since, in ben's words, my "crashing" return from china. lol did sth bad and it's home sweet home for me~

saturday was nth much. camped at hm and watched olympics. LOL i'm addicted to the games you see. well anyway, evening went to my aunt's hse for dinner. and i've got to say, it juz dun feel lyk family anymore. to me, that is.

ytd was spent chionging my bloody portfolio. spent the WHOLE day. well not really.. most of the time i was plainly slacking and watching the games. yay-ness

yea yea i noe it is a boring post. LOL so to end it off real quick, i'm gonna say sth to mr chan.

my birthday is on 20 sep~

2008-08-07T10:41:00.008+08:00

i'm hoping to get my hands on this item~

this includes 4 hardcovered books and 4 collectible prints. i wan~~~
http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Saga-Stephenie-Meyer/dp/0316031844/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218078267&sr=1-4

i'm getting barking mad and i told zh so~

[c=13] *+* w(^_^w) ❤ (m^_^)m *+*[/c=13] says:
i'm barking mad
[c=13] *+* w(^_^w) ❤ (m^_^)m *+*[/c=13] says:
woof woof

LOL so damn funny lorx.. but the funniest part is when ben came online..

[c=13] *+* w(^_^w) ❤ (m^_^)m *+*[/c=13] says:
woof woof
benjamin says:
LOL
benjamin says:
MEOW MEOW

and then.. our whole conversation became...

dun get it? we communicate through the circled parts

lyk i said.. i'm BARKING mad~~ AHAHA i'm on my way to Woodbridge~~~~~~

and zh went~

w@t3v3r -= Salmon =- says:
o 0 O o 0 O <---- bubble..

LOL

i can see the pain living in your eyes and i know how hard you try. you deserve to have so much more.
you deserve a chance at the kind of love i'm not sure i'm worthy of. losing you is painful to me.
i dun wan to let you down. i dun wan to lead you on. i dun wan to hold you back from where you might belong.
you would never ask me why my heart is so disguised. i just cant live a lie anymore. i would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry.
there's nothing left to say but goodbye.

i'm sorry you had to find out this way..

2008-08-05T16:33:00.002+08:00

说走的人是你。为什么要等到我放手才回来？

went to TCC with the kuku babes ytd. rather cosy. beanbags~ i like! lol food's so-so. coffee's ok too. i had some minty latte. not bad though i prefer a stronger minty taste. had a great time chatting with them. esp love it when carol talks abt driving lessons.. LOL

i think i must be crazy.. i purchased a total of 6 books on Amazon.com and one of which costs USD100. total costs was USD161.90 which was credited to my dad's credit card. now i have to find money to repay him.. =x

2008-08-03T23:43:00.002+08:00

有人问我，回家了开心吗？我对他说，不会不开心也不会很开心。因为不想他担心，我隐瞒了我心里的想法。回到熟悉的环境，我难免会开心。但当我走在路上，做些平常做的事，我的心便有些忧郁。在这里都是我们的回忆。一个想找也找不回的回忆。当时你对我说了一声放弃，除了无奈我什么感觉都没有。除了放手我什么选择都没有。是你决定我的伤心。。。
想念是会呼吸的痛它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛看你的信会痛连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛恨不懂你会痛想见不能见最痛

当你对我笑着说一切听我的，说真的我有些疑惑。从很久以前，别人给我的承诺到最后都是一场空。我真的不知该不该相信你。但你的认真，你的努力让我渐渐的相信这世界真会有一个人为我而付出。但你的出现让我迷惑。到底我所追求的爱情是什么？到底我所想要的是什么？你要我把我的下半辈子给你。你说你会给我幸福。我被人伤过，我怕了。你能赶走我生命里的黑暗吗？
一个人我重新适应一切不方便
两个人不一定就成全一个世界
一个人关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线过去那些情节更明显

到底我该往后退还是向前走？两个人，一前一后，我无法选择。到了这时，我真的进退两难。我不想再次犯错，不想伤害人也不想受伤害。决定权不在于我，而是命运。
爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上一定会遇到
对的人出现在眼角

爱不是一种需要是一种对照
爱虽然很美妙却不能为了寂寞又陷了泥沼

i'm sorry for giving up

2008-08-02T10:38:00.002+08:00

我回家了~ 我回来了~ 再见三亚~ 好想念你们。你们一定要照顾自己。我很快就回来，和你们见面。我还记得姐夫欠我一顿饭呢~ 哈哈！我也欠老哥一顿饭。不要忘了我。有空要联络~

finally touched down last nite at 11pm. missing life in Sanya but yea.. gotta move on. during my time in china, i've gained and lost alot. frens come and go but in my case, i let go. i noe it's my fault. i noe i've neglected them. i have no excuse. i admit but wat's the point? mayb i didnt try hard enough. mayb i juz simply dun wan to try. i'm afraid of failure. in my mind, i keep thinking. mayb i shld try to patch things up but i'm a coward. the words are in my throat, they nv did come out. i really did simply give up. enough abt this~

thanks to the ppl for coming to the airport ytd. i appreciate the gesture. and to those who welcomed me back, thank you too~ supper with the usual gang was fun~ chatted abt alot of stuff. from bear to stupid van booking us to go overseas 2 yrs later. =.= who plans a trip 2yrs in advance sia. zzz and to think her studies are beta than mine. sometimes i wonder... LOL kidding~

well, gotta end here. if you've noticed, my links have decreased by alot. that's cos i accidently deleted them and had to find them back. hee hee so do me a favor.. tell me your url alrite~

2008-07-24T16:00:00.002+08:00

自从来到了中国，我体会到很多。学的东西也很多。但是到了这里，没有家人的依靠，才真正地找到自己。我一直以来在寻找的到底是什么，我还不知道。但我明白，路还很长。不要为了一时的软弱而做错的选择。不要为了一时的寂寞而选择错人。

changed url, changed blogskin.. alot of things has changed. me included. my thinking, my character.. almost everything.. china has brought alot of new experiences to me. i did not delete my old blog. mainly cos i wanted to leave the memories. even though some frens are gone, the memories still exist. the good and the bad times, i wan to rmb. to remind myself how i was once so naive. how i was once so clueless. i do have bad experiences in china. some, i dun even wan to think abt.

i've lost all the blog links so do pardon me if i didnt link you. do leave me a message so i can link you back alrites`

gtg now. ciao *will update pictures when i get back to sg. just one more week~*