you noe.. if it were a few years ago, i would never thought i would say this. but yea.. see.. i'm kinda glad, or more accurately, relieved dat i've decided to end this frenship. it's lyk.. ever since i knew her in sec sch, life's been full of more downs than ups. i'll never forget e 1st time i met her in sch. 2 girls, with nowhere else to go except for the lib. my life in sec sch was kinda pathetic but at the same time, peaceful. i gotta admit. it was fun at the beginning. all those joy and laughter.

then e tears, the problems started flooding in. then e cutting started. and to tell the truth, i felt guilty. i kept thinking if only i had been more of a help. if only i listened to her problems, mayb things wouldnt be this way. during those times, all i could do was to watch from the side and do nothing. i felt lost and i noe i'll never forget the time when she cried on my shoulder. i felt her sadness. it is true she gave me some of my best memories in my life. but she gave me e darkest moments in my life too. i couldnt look at her and not rmb. i couldnt forget e pain i felt when she hurt herself.

not only me. i believe e others too will rmb. how one girl could cause so much unhappiness in all of us. and while we were all still unable to walk out of it, she "disappeared" and came back after a few months, more "matured" than us. her criticism of us being childish only strained the alr straining (-.- i couldnt think of another word) bond between us. and i do admit, we're childish. and dat it doesnt help dat someone is constantly wanting us to "grow up" and be more lyk her.

to tell the truth, our frenship broke during that one incident. and i noe, when 2 ppl have chosen different paths, wat used to be could never be. wat she has, i dun. but wat i do have, makes up for it. actually, when i think abt it, i do have more than her. my love life might be in a mess but frenship-wise, i'm doing good i guess. yea we might be childish but hey, wat's e fun in life when we CANT be childish? at least, give us credit dat we do noe when to be serious.

i dunno why i'm talking abt all this and i sure as hell am not bitching. it's juz dat i lyk reading ppl's blog and when i read hers, it brought back many unhappy memories. i think of how i used to be in the past and now, hell.. i've become more of a pessimist and a wild girl. which can be both a good and bad thing. but with my family, i felt happier. now, my relationship with my parents are more of lyk frens which is great. life has certainly improved for me and i dun quarrel with my parents dat often. come to think of it, my mom doesnt like her much. my mom reckons i'm being used. which of course, led to a lot of arguments. but all that's in the past now. =)

now, we've become more of like strangers. so yea. thks for the birthday present but.. i would be thankful if nxt time, dun call me out le. cos my ans would be no. i dun wan to go back to the past le. so yea. guess this chapter of my life is done. dun think i'll talk abt her anymore in my blog. dat's all i've got to say here~ ciao






i couldn't look at her and not remember the pain and guilt from the past. maybe things would be better if we just end it as it is now. cordially.